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We grow up hearing, “Why is your skin color like that? Why is your hair like that? Why are you fat like that? Why are you short like that? Why is your voice like that?” Day by day our confidence decreases. We forget we are beautiful. We become very shy and then afraid to speak, afraid to go anywhere, especially wherever there are groups of people.

I was asked this question, “Why is your skin color like that?” many times. I can remember when I was young, I went to my relative’s house to attend a wedding party. I was to stay there three days. One night, while everyone was chitchatting and laughing with each other, I sat beside my cousin. Suddenly, one of the boys pointed at me and said, “What? A Black girl!” For the first time in my life, I felt terribly upset and very vulnerable inside. I had heard “kalo meye” before, but I had not understood the weight of it. This is only one of many memories like this.

My family did not even try to understand that their attitude about my skin color hurt me, and I was losing my confidence day by day, believing I was not beautiful. I also came to believe that everyone with dark skin was not beautiful, either, because I was surrounded with negativity and ignorance so much of the time. I cried myself to sleep many nights, feeling I was too shy to meet new people because I thought maybe they would not like an ugly person with dark skin like mine.

When I was still in Bangladesh, in college, I shared my sorrow with Rashid, who was a good listener and a friend I had learned to trust. “You are a beautiful girl,” he told me. I believed he was telling me the truth.

Not too long ago, when my parents offered to arrange a marriage for me with a man with white skin, I refused. I told them I wanted to marry a man who would respect me, love me, and never doubt how beautiful I am, inside and out, because of my skin color. Since my parents are slowly learning that their daughter’s happiness should be important to them, little by little, their attitude toward me is changing to one of acceptance and support.

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Romana Akter grew up in Feni, Bangladesh. She arrived in New York City in 2018. She writes, “I am an introverted person, but I like to go outside and hang out with my family. I am passionate about trying out different recipes and making cooking videos to share. I thank Caryn Davis, my teacher at City Tech, for helping me to improve my academic English skills, think more deeply, and develop my creative writing skills.