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Dear Past Self,

Let me tell you about the excitement I felt when I looked down at the extravagant city lights from an airplane window on the day I arrived in New York. I was all by myself and felt relieved after the nerve-racking immigration inspection in Minneapolis and catching my connecting flight to LaGuardia. I broke into a smile once I saw that my husband had come to pick me up. I could hardly speak English at that time, so I have no idea how I got through everything. I still vividly remember that the shining skyscrapers in Manhattan made my heart beat fast. That’s always on the first page of the New York chapter of my life and is one of the moments I will never forget.

Now, I’m here to soothe you, my past self. I know that you are overwhelmed with anxiety about living abroad for the first time, unsure if you can get along well in a country that is literally on the opposite side of the world. You might think, I’m homesick and eager to visit Japan, but actually that’s a big misunderstanding; I indeed miss my friends and family who live far away, but I’ve experienced precious things here that are totally worth all the distance. Life in a marvelous city has become irreplaceable for me. So, let a new adventure begin! I know you’ll do great.

In New York, I feel like I’m the most fortunate person in the world, with life-changing opportunities. When I was in Japan, I always wondered why Japanese society was so stifling. People seemed afraid to say what they truly felt, thought, and wanted. No offense, but they were too obsessed with being the same as others and ignored individuality, as if invisible social rules controlled and trapped everyone. Until I got out of there, I had given in to that social pressure and lost sight of who I was. Even though I was sick of it inside, I obeyed others, hid my true emotions, and pretended I was someone else, with no opinions. I wanted others to accept me. I was never confident.

New York let me be myself. You would be amazed at how many different appearances, languages, cultures, backgrounds, and ways of thinking we have here. Everyone matters equally. No one ever hesitates to express themselves as they are. It’s a waste to care about how others judge you. I greatly appreciate that I have many friends from all over the world who always motivate, support, and help me to see things from different perspectives. We are all unique and are all wonderfully special. When I finally realized this, I felt like the scales fell from my eyes. My values dramatically changed in the city of diversity. Thank you, Lady Liberty, for giving me liberty.

Today, I’m confident in myself. I will put this realization into action and cherish what I’ve learned for the rest of my life. My awareness will make my life superb, for sure.

To close, let me share my tips with you and everyone who wants to live life to the fullest. Be yourself and express yourself as you are. Broaden your horizons. Respect that individuals are like flowers, colorful and different in their own way. Inspire, improve, and encourage each other. Try to experience new things. Smile more, love, and be loved. Life is too short to worry so much, regret, or criticize others. Life is a journey. Let us enjoy every mile. Blessing you with happiness, peace, love, health, and prosperity in this new phase of your life. Fingers crossed.

Sincerely,
Your Future Self

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Ayumi Ota was born near Osaka, Japan. She worked in Tokyo. She came to the U.S. in 2017. She never dreamed that she would live and work in a language other than Japanese. She sincerely wants to express her gratitude to her teacher at the Stavros Niarchos Foundation Library, Robin Poley. Ayumi Ota is also grateful to her supportive husband, Keiji, and everyone involved with her.