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That day, the date with my boyfriend was at a fancy restaurant on top of a mountain. The sunset alone was beautiful enough, but seeing my boyfriend on his knee, asking me if I wanted to marry him, was even better. Crying, I said yes and decided to marry my beloved. My heart beat fast and loudly, and I couldn’t wait to tell my mother about my new fiancé. I found her in the living room watching television. I ran toward her, hugged her, and shared my news with her. My mother looked into my eyes and said, “My little baby has grown.” She took my hands into hers and offered me her support. She promised to help me with all the wedding preparations.

A week later we started preparing. My mother was always by my side. The first challenge I came across was when we started looking for a place for the wedding. We considered a restaurant lobby, a fancy hotel on the top of a mountain, and a venue named Giardini del Castello, which looks like a castle with green gardens. After my mother and I read the reviews and visited the locations, we chose the castle.

Next was the dress. My mom went with me to every appointment. She was confident. She was my best adviser. It was a long process. We went to five stores, and I tried on more than 20 dresses. We finally found the perfect white mermaid dress, with romantic lace sleeves and a long cathedral veil. Every time I tried on a dress, my mother looked at me and thanked God for having me as her daughter.

There were more arrangements to make. My mother called her friends to get the right prices, the right people, and the right locations for the decorations. She was also in charge of selecting the music. She made a contract with a local band and a famous national singer to have live music. We were both happy with the choices. We still had approximately five months until the wedding, but already almost everything was set up. We just needed to finalize a few details.

Two months before the wedding, I got an unexpected phone call at work. With a soft and broken tone, my sister said, “Our mother is at the hospital in a coma, and we don’t know if she is going to make it.” My mother had suffered an aneurysm and was found unconscious in the living room. The doctors advised us to be prepared for the worst because my mother was in bad shape. A few days later, my mother woke up from the coma. I was happy to see her recovering and able to talk. It was not until a few days later that the doctors explained that she had lost almost 90 percent of her memory.

When my big day finally arrived, my mother’s dreams of seeing her daughter walk down the aisle in a beautiful white wedding dress were finally coming true. In the morning, we went together to get our hair done, and get dressed together. We looked like the most beautiful women on earth. During the ceremony, my mother stood next to me the whole time. Her eyes were watering until she couldn’t hold it in anymore and started crying from all the emotions overwhelming her.

The very next day, before leaving on my honeymoon, I went to my mother’s house to say goodbye. I approached her and said thanks for all her help. I hugged her, expecting a hug back, but I was startled when she asked me when I was going to get married. She did not remember anything about the day before. She was present physically and emotionally at my wedding, but her mind did not retain the memories.

I am happy to have my mother alive, but seeing that she does not retain memories is a constant battle. It feels so sad that she cannot remember my childhood. Memories are our past, and thanks to our memories, we know who we are. My mother doesn’t remember anything, so she doesn’t know who she is and where she has been. But I know that although her brain fails, her heart will never forget me.
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Ligia Ochoa is 33 years old. Originally from Honduras, she moved to the U.S. in 2019. She now lives with her husband and children on Staten Island, where she studies English with teacher Polina Belimova at CUNY’s College of Staten Island. Blerina Likollari is the program director.