I miss my parents so much. It’s strange that we take them for granted. We are born, and they are with us. We grow, and they are with us. So we never think about losing them.

I remember that moment when my brother told me that my father was going to die. At that moment, I felt as though my life just stopped, like my heart stopped beating, and I couldn’t feel anything or hear anything. My brother kept telling me what the doctor said, but I didn’t really hear him. At that moment, I felt 20 years older.

My father had always been the love of my life. I loved him, and I always will. When people tell me that I’m like him, I’m so happy deep inside. So at that moment, I felt like I was losing my heart. I felt so cold and still.

I remember the night when he died. It was my first time to lock the gate downstairs in front of our house. I locked it, and then I locked the door, and I felt like my sense of safety in the world had come to an end.

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Ayatullah Tohamy, age 32, studies at the Arab American Association of New York, where Anne Townsend is her teacher, and Mary Hetteix is the site adviser. Ayatullah Tohamy was born and raised in Abu Dhabi but later lived in Egypt. Her first language is Arabic. She arrived in the United States in 2019. She writes, “I love reading and writing. I love drawing, too, and call myself an artist. I love to work with kids on arts and crafts.”