Surrender

*
Dear God,

You have not forgotten, nor will you ever forget,
when I lost a part of myself long ago.
I have divided and perished into the waves of darkness.
Family ties, broken once, unthought of.
Fierce fights, shuddering shouts,
Misunderstandings followed by interrogations.
To clear false accusations,
a perpetual cycle, a product of nativity or mere sophistication
in place,
an ancient play of divide and control.

My flesh has worn thin, my vulnerability translucent.
I seek shelter, safety, and soundness of mind, body, and soul.
Take me to a place where one can rebuild a lost love,
where we can forgive again.
For my heart bleeds humble tears,
in a deep place where lifelong lessons are learned.
Where foot by foot I tread upon
unknown trails of tough trials.
I await a sign of salvation from the Divine.

Indeed, you have not forsaken me,
when I was lying low shriveled and shivering,
with a heart bled dry, traces of tears, and there,
the sound of pounding pain, echoing petty pieces of
my existence.
In grandeur, your light shone pervasively upon us
to clear the hearts of ignorance and unjust bias,
to sow seeds of love for your brother, what you love for yourself,
to weed out, never hold grudges, envy, or spite,
to feed life with life, which we only live once.

Cherish the rebirth, for it’s only counted once.
Precious is life, taken for granted not
by a forgotten mind of one’s lost body and soul.
Forgiveness from above transcends the heavens and earth.
Reach out to the Divine for an eternal glimpse of it,
to harvest happiness here and in the After,
share inner peace and harmony outwardly.
Surrender to the Above and release the shackles of slavery.
A sign from the Divine shall descend upon you graciously.

Sincerely,
Your Servant,
Mariana
*
*

''Mariana Jaber is a Palestinian American from Brooklyn and a proud mother of two handsome young boys. Fluent in Arabic and proactive in maintaining physical, mental, and spiritual health, she is pursuing her goal of becoming a nutritionist. Her writing was also published in LR18. She is a student at the Family Health Centers of NYU Langone, Project Reach Youth. Her instructor is John Kefalas. Rebecca Gallager is the site supervisor.